As my first proper Mother’s Day approaches this Sunday, I’ve been reflecting on what it means to be a Mom, and more specifically an MOD (Mother of a Daughter). I can hardly believe that Evie will be 4 months old the day before Mother’s Day. It seems like time has been flying by. I learn something new everyday.
I do think it’s different to be an MOD vs. an MOS (Mother of a Son). I know I have different hopes and dreams for a daughter that I wouldn’t necessarily have for a son. I know that I put certain things on a higher priority for Evie than I probably would if she had been a boy. I will admit that some of the rearing of a daughter is overwhelming. Thankfully those things are a bit of a way off. More thankfully, I have an amazing array of women to draw inspiration from. So, as a tribute to my fellow MOD’s I want to repay you for your wisdom and love.
It would be easy to find inspiration in very public MOD’s; Ingrid Betancourt, Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, Laura Bush, Maria Shriver, Eunice Kennedy etc. But, I find it much more rewarding to draw from my personal experiences and the love my friends and family have shown me. So, here are but a few:
The first mother anyone remembers is his or her own. I have to admit that at times, it was probably not very easy to be my mother. I’m opinionated and loud and I ask a ton of questions. My mom is the opposite of that. But, she made me this way. She taught me to never settle, learn always, and speak up for yourself. She never let me think there wasn’t anything I couldn’t do. As was evident when I said I wanted to play the drums in band. She told me to go for it. When the band director said there wasn’t any more room for drummers, I should play the flute, I was not impressed. So, I asked what other instrument I could play, he gave me the bassoon. I went home and told my mom I was going to play the bassoon. Then I asked her what it was. She faithfully carted me and that giant thing around for the next 4 years. And she listened to the horrible practicing for ages. And that is the most important thing that I will teach Evie. Life is limitless and learning is the key. Oh and that if you want a tattoo, pick a design and wait 6 months. If you still want that same design, I’ll take you to get the tattoo. This is very good advice and the reason I still don’t have a tattoo.
The next are my lovely Teichman women, Annie, April, Cheri and beautiful Stephanie. Three are related by blood and one by marriage, but all are fellow MOD’s. When I see Annie with Lexi I know that Lexi will be the happiest little girl and she will always know just how much Annie loves her. Annie has the most amazing capacity to love and it’s beautiful to see. April comes by the Teichman name through marriage, but lovely Sydney will carry the Teichman name throughout her life. Sydney is spunky and I know at times April has her hands full. But, she never gives up. She perseveres and starts each day fresh. She has amazing resilience and I know Sydney will have a great determination because of this. Cheri is the youngest MOD, but she’s been one the longest. She is the calmest mother I’ve ever met. I know Kaitlyn will be comfortable in her own skin always. Finally, wonderful Stephanie. My first friend, the best a girl could ever hope for. I’ve learned many a thing from Stephanie throughout our lives. She has never ceased to amaze me and she continually surprises me. She’s accepting and fun and can adapt to anything. I know that sweet Valerie will grow up to be very open and accepting of others, even when she doesn’t agree. I am very proud to share the Teichman name with each of you, and I’m even prouder to have joined your MOD club.
Some people are born to be mothers. My friend Valerie was not only born to be a mother, she was born to be an MOD. To understand Valerie, you had to know her mother, Betty. Betty was my first boss at my first real job. She was the head of medical records in the hospital and she hired me to work there during the summer. She ran a department of around 20 or so people, and EVERY single one of them loved her. She was quiet and unobtrusive and VERY, VERY smart. She worked hard and she raised Valerie on her own. From the moment I met Valerie in 9th grade, I knew how important Betty was in her life. They were best friends. Betty was a great southern lady. She taught me how to make “monkey bread”, quite possibly the best thing ever. She drove us all over town and she helped me learn what it meant to work hard and diligently. When Valerie became a mother for the first time under less than favorable circumstances, Betty took it all in stride. She helped Valerie and stood by her and their bond grew even stronger. Valerie went on to marry a wonderful man and she was in her house full of men, when finally, she became pregnant with her beautiful little girl. I remember the sparkle in her eye when she told us she was going to have a girl. It was as if her life had come full circle and was now complete. I know that little Averey will have all the determination and intelligence that her grandmother embodied. I know she will have a great respect for the bonds between women. And as her mother leads their family onto their next journey through accepting another person into their family, Averey will be just as loving and caring as her mom. And her Grandmother is looking down on them very proudly.
Some people were born to be moms. I don’t think that I was one of them. I definitely weighed my options and spent most of my twenties pretty unsure as to the prospect of motherhood. My friend Sarah, is somewhere in between. She is lucky enough to have not one, but two beautiful daughters. She may not have been born to be a mom, but she’s an absolutely amazing one. She gives me hope every day that I won’t screw things up drastically. She defies stereotypes for her girls and just lets them be the wonderful people they are. She guides them lightly into activities and focuses on teaching skills rather than thoughts. Miya and Sula are truly wonderful people and I’m really grateful that I’ve gotten to be a part of their lives. And I’m really thankful that in 4 months I haven’t managed to annoy Sarah to no end with my barrage of questions. Oh, and I’m thankful that Sarah still translates English to American for me.
The greatest thing you can teach a child is kindness and no one has done that better than my Mother in Law, Jane. Yes she is an MOS (obviously), but she also has a daughter (Auntie Jo), so she’s in the club. Jane is lovely and fun and incredibly kind. She is generous beyond belief and she has taught me that generosity doesn’t have to come from the pocketbook. She has taught her own daughter to be kind to everyone and that being kind really does matter. Evie is very lucky that she has such a great example in her Grandma and her Auntie. I know that Jane will help to teach Evie to be kind to all. And she’ll also teach her about Leonard Cohen J
The coolest person I ever met was my friend Brigitte. She was ahead of me in High School and I think we met in German, but I can’t remember exactly. She was by far the coolest person ever!! She introduced me to what would become my favorite band of all time U2. And I think of her whenever I hear them. She had a cool little CRX (I think that’s what it was called, but again I can’t remember), she was super smart and she even had a really cool haircut. Seriously, I thought she was the bee’s knees. And today, she’s still cool (and brilliant). So, I know that little Ada will exude that same cool confidence as her mom did and I’m sure she’ll have a legion of girls that find her as fascinating as I found her mom.
All teachers are amazing people, but everyone has that one teacher they will remember for the rest of their lives. A teacher that not only taught them grammar or times tables, but taught them how to think for themselves and to ask questions. For me, that’s Frau Haynes. She was my teacher, my cheerleading coach, my German club advisor and my friend. She has wiped away tears and jumped up and down for joy. She does have her own daughter, but I dare say she has thousands of others that have felt she was like a mother to them at some point in their time with her. She is amazing and she taught me so much in the years I spent in her classroom and in her company. She taught me to ask questions always. But, more than that, she taught me how to learn. Her life is about constant learning and she feels that she will always be learning (and she speaks 5 languages). She helped me realize that was the way I wanted to live my life as well, and it has been very rewarding. Not only is she an MOD, but now she is a GOG (Grandmother of a Granddaughter). I know she will be so loved and so smart! Now if only Frau Haynes could teach me to be cheery first thing in the morning J
There was a great line in the movie “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”, the mother speaking to the daughter: “The man may be the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head whichever way she wants”. My grandmother embodies this statement. She comes from a different time than I do and I know at times I didn’t understand the things she did. She lived through the depression with a mother who was divorced. She didn’t marry until she was almost 30 and she had her first child when she was in her 30s. All very uncommon things for the time. She raised 3 girls while my grandfather was traveling to support the family. She does EVERYTHING herself. She cooks, cleans, gardens, types, reads, and writes very well. She is the ultimate super woman and is continually an inspiration to me. She taught me poise and grace and endured endless piano practices and ballet recitals. She has thousands of friends and knows everyone. When I wanted to be a candy striper but couldn’t because I was too young due to my late birthday, she called up one of those friends and got me in. She taught me that you have to work hard, but that it should be rewarding work. She doesn’t understand giving up and she expects a lot. I like being held to something and I love making her proud. She has grace and beauty beyond what you see at first site and the example she sets for all of us (her daughters, granddaughters and now great granddaughter) is staggering. I have been amazingly blessed to be her granddaughter. I am proud beyond words to have given my daughter her name, Evelyne. I hope Evie will carry that name with her beauty and grace and know that it comes with an everlasting love.
There are two new MOD’s Nicky and Lori. Nicky I just met and she and I are going through this wonderful journey together. I know her little Amara will be as easy going and loving as her mom. And the newest MOD I know, Lori. I know Lillian will be as crafty and as caring as she is.
There are so many wonderful mothers out there and I know I haven’t gotten to everyone that inspires me. But, I do hope that you know how much I respect and admire each and everyone of you. I feel I was doubly blessed to be a mom and to be an MOD. More than anything I was blessed to be Evie’s mom. I want her to know that I wanted to be her Mom and that I will be forever grateful to have her in my life.
Happy Mother’s Day to You All!!
